120 Things you are not allowed to do at Hogwarts
by lunalovegood134
Summary: What happens when Bree Valentino finds a certain list in a certain Professors office and decides to show it to Fred and George Weasley? Hilarity of course!


_**120 Things you are not Allowed To Do at Hogwarts**_

_**xXx**_

Disclaimer: no, I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, Bree would most defiantly be a character and there would be much more of the Weasley twins and Fred would be alive and Neville would have ended up with Luna an- you get the idea... Anyways, the list belongs to bexyboobell with her permission to be used of course :p

_**xXx**_

_"Freeeeeed! Georgeeeeeee!" Bree cried as she barreled into the room, a huge grin on her face and long parchment in her hand. She launched herself at them, landing in Fred's lap who immediately wrapped his arms around her waist. "Yes?" The twins chorused, eyeing the parchment with identical mischievous smirks. "Weeeeeeeell." Bree started, smirking as she held the word for as long as she could. "You know how I just had detention with Minn right?" She asked, continuing when she saw the twins nods. "Well, while she was out of the room to use the loo, giving me specific instructions not to move from my seat-" "which you ignored." George added. "Right, which I ignored, obviously. Well, while she was out, I managed to swipe this!" And with that, Bree spread the parchment out on the table. She slipped off of Fred's lap and positioned herself beside him so that he could lean forward and read what was written there: _

_**Things you are not allowed to do at Hogwarts**_

_**1. Not allowed to owl members of staff about your love life**_

_**2. The Weasley twins are not to be given caffeine shots ever again**_

_**3. Not allowed to owl Voldemort**_

_**4. Punching Draco Malfoy will not help bring the four houses together**_

_**5. The Weasley twins are not god's so stop worshiping them and no your not allowed to make them god's either**_

_**6. Not allowed to send Christmas invites to death eaters**_

_**7. Can not try to sue any professor because they gave you a detention**_

_**8. Not allowed to call professor Snape sevvie poo**_

_**9. Not allowed to try an bribe a professor with pickle**_

_**10. Not allowed to chase first years with the sword of Gryffindor**_

_**11. Not allowed to try an take over Hogwarts**_

_**12. You are not allowed to break into the slytherin common room and leave deadly snakes**_

_**13. Can not start rumors you know to be false**_

_**14. Not allowed to ask what reality the headmaster lives in**_

_**15. Wearing clothes is not optional**_

_**16. Not allowed to use first years as your personal messenger**_

_**17. Not allowed to ask what the hell is a hufflepuff**_

_**18. Not allowed to sign your homework from your future Dark lord**_

_**19. Can not sell personal items belonging to Harry Potter**_

_**20. Not allowed to leave class for a smoke break**_

_**21. Not allowed to wake the whole castle up at three in the morning claiming the house elves want to eat your brains**_

_**22. Can not write letters to fudge calling him the biggest moron on the planet**_

_**23. Not allowed to start Screaming for no reason**_

_**24. Not allowed to give Hagrid a crocodile as a birthday present**_

_**25. Professor snape is not Merlin and it is wrong to tell first years he is**_

_**27. Can not claim to be the love child of Bellatrix and Voldemort**_

_**28. Do not ask Snape to sing you a lullaby**_

_**29. Not allowed to use Harry Potter as personal shield**_

_**30. There is no excuse on earth that can get you out of trouble after stealing Dumbledores candy**_

_**31. Just because you claim your a ninja doesn't make it true**_

_**32. Not allowed to stalk professor Snape as something to do**_

_**33. Can not send professor Mcgonagall tins of tuna for Christmas or birthday**_

_**34. The Weasley twins can not cancel any orders given to you by a professor**_

_**35. Not allowed to give peeves a paint gun**_

_**36. Not allowed to tell first years if they hug snape he will award them house points**_

_**37. Not allowed to repaint any part of Hogwarts**_

_**38. Using the excuse I was bored will not get you out of trouble**_

_**39. Not allowed to tell prefect were they can stick there badge**_

_**40. Not allowed to blow things up for the hell of it**_

_**41. Not allowed to try and feed Draco Malfoy to Aragog**_

_**42. Can not try to sell Hogwarts to muggles**_

_**43. Not allowed to bring a dragon to school**_

_**44. Can not claim you are Godric Gryffindor reborn**_

_**45. Not allowed to hold a rave in the forbidden forest**_

_**46. Not allowed to hold Mrs Norris hostage until Filch returns your dung bombs**_

_**47. Not allowed to call slytherins interbreed morons**_

_**48. Can not declare that every Saturday is walk around naked day**_

_**49. Not allowed to fix a Quiditch match**_

_**50. Can not shave Dumbledores beard off**_

_**51. Not allowed to turn up to class drunk**_

_**52. Can not start a fight club**_

_**53. Not allowed to tell people Snapes a vampire**_

_**54. Not allowed to give the Weasley twins ideas**_

_**55. Can not put Voldemort down as your biggest influence in life**_

_**57. Not allowed to ask any professor what crawled up their butt an died**_

_**58. Not allowed to make up a prophecy were you marry Harry Potter**_

_**59. Can not ask professor Snape to become your life coach**_

_**60. Not allowed to threaten anyone with a teaspoon**_

_**61. Not allowed to use the whomping willow as a catapult**_

_**62. Not allowed to leave class to go an slay a dragon**_

_**63. Not allowed to try an blackmail professors into letting you do what ever you want**_

_**64. Not allowed to pour water over umbridge**_

_**65. Can not blame other people for things that you have done**_

_**66. Not allowed to use a house elves to build you a pyramid**_

_**67. Not allowed to rename Halloween let's try an kill Harry Potter day**_

_**68. Not allowed to use slytherins as bludgers**_

_**69. Not allowed to ask deatheaters to sing phantom of the opera**_

_**70. Can not claim Lucias Malfoy is your sugar daddy**_

_**71. Not allowed to traumatize first years**_

_**72. Not allowed to turn the Great Hall into a swimming pool**_

_**73. Not allowed to trip filch up**_

_**74. Not allowed to declare your self Ruler of everything**_

_**75. Not allowed to teach Draco Malfoy the errors of his ways by causing him pain**_

_**76. Not allowed to leave potions to go join the Cult of the Rubber Duck**_

_**77. The Weasley twins are not allowed to start a cult called the Rubber Duck or any other cult for that matter**_

_**78. Not allowed to laugh when you see what Ronald Weasley is wearing to the Yule Ball**_

_**79. Not allowed to throw Umbridge to the giant squid**_

_**80. You can not break into any professors room to leave them a gift of dragon dung**_

_**81. Not allowed to sing in class**_

_**82. Not allowed to make the Dursleys pay for what they have done to Harry**_

_**83. Not allowed to make up spells**_

_**84. Not allowed to threaten slytherins with a cheese cake**_

_**85. Not allowed to burn down the library to annoy Hermione and the ravenclaws**_

_**86. Not allowed to call Crabbe and Goyle dum and dumber**_

_**87. Not allowed to call unicorns my little pony**_

_**88. Professor Mcgonagall does not care that you can do back flips**_

_**89. Not allowed to pay the Weasley twins to Prank your cheating ex**_

_**90. Not allowed to leave the school grounds to go party with goblins**_

_**91. You can not use a skateboard down the stairs**_

_**92. Not allowed to be a referee for Ron and Hermione arguments**_

_**93. Just because someone annoys you it does not give you the right to punch them**_

_**94. Not allowed to fill the Gryffindor common room with shaving cream and shower gel**_

_**95. Not allowed to turn the charms class room as a casino**_

_**96. Not allowed to give your homework to fluffy just so you can say a dog ate my homework**_

_**97. Can not use Harry's broom to clean the ceiling**_

_**98. Hogwarts wouldn't be better if you were allowed to get drunk**_

_**99. Not allowed to eat chocolate till you puke**_

_**100. Not allowed to stay awake for a week**_

_**101. Can not place sleeping draught in a professors goblets**_

_**102. Not allowed to annoy Snape until he cracks**_

_**103. Not allowed to get Hagrid drunk**_

_**104. Yes Umbridge does look like a toad but your not allowed to tell her everyday**_

_**105. Not allowed to call professor Mcgonagall the cat in the hat**_

_**106. Not allowed to start a radio station were you reveal everyone's most embarrassing secrets**_

_**107. Not allowed to make your pure blood if jokes**_

_**108. There is no such thing as a werevirgin so stop asking**_

_**109. Not allowed to place a giant statue of a fish in the great hall**_

_**110. Can not harm people that wake you up before noon on the weekends**_

_**111. Not allowed to tell mad eye people are following him the man's paranoid a enough as it is**_

_**112. Cheese isn't homework**_

_**113. Not allowed to help peeves cause mayhem**_

_**114. Not allowed to introduce yourself as Mr annoying banana pants**_

_**115. Potions class isn't the place to go for therapy**_

_**116. Not allowed to call the headmaster a fool**_

_**117. Not allowed to invite merpeople for a BBQ**_

_**118. If something thing looks dangerous it probably is**_

_**119. Not allowed to write to Voldemort to ask about his childhood issues**_

_**120. Not allowed to sing can't fight the moonlight to professor Lupin."**_

_"You, Brianna Valentino,-" George started after a moment of shocked silence._

_"are amazing." Fred finished, the both of them giving her looks of awe. Bree grimaced, glaring at them. "First, __**don't **__call me Brianna. Second, I know I am." She said, a crooked grin on her face. "Anyways, we have to do this list! Imagine how happy we can make people again!" Ever since Umbridge had become Headmisstress she had practically been turning the school into a prison. The three had always tried to keep smiles on their faces, trying to comfort the younger students and make them laugh after a detention with the toad. "Bree, I believe you just started something beautiful." Fred commented, pulling Bree back onto his lap. "Of course I did, who do you take me for? Percy?" _


End file.
